Super Mario Vacation
by anythingbutmyoriginal
Summary: Mario and the gang just returned from Delfino Island and then decide to go back for a vacation.
1. The Plane Ride

**Chapter 1: The Plane Ride**

Our story begins in the land of Mushroom Kingdom after returning from the island of Delfino. Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Diddy, Yoshi, and Donkey Kong were about to head to Delfino Island again for a true vacation. Peach was going to go but she had important business so she had to stay behind. Mario and the others are at the airport about to leave.

"Goodbye Mario." Peach said as she waved goodbye. Mario and the others waved too. They went on the plane and the doors closed.

They all found their seats. Mario was sitting next to Luigi. DK and Yoshi sat together. Waluigi and Diddy sat side-by-side. But Wario sat next to an old man. Wario was on the inside.

A few hours later Wario asked the old man "Can you get up I gotta pee?"

The old man replied "WHAAAT? I can't hear you!"

Wario got a little mad. He was holding it in. "I said 'CAN YOU GET UP I GOTTA PEE!?'"

"I can't hear you; say it right in my ear." The old man held his ear up to Wario's mouth.

At this point he could barely hold it. "GET YOU'RE FREAKING OLD BUTT UP I GOTTA TAKE A PISS!!!!!!" Wario screamed.

"WHAAAT?"

Wario growled angrily. He pushed the old man in the floor and ran to the bathroom knocking down people in his way. Mario turned back to see if Wario made it to the restroom. Right before Wario opened the door his pants got dark and liquid fell to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wario screamed.

Mario fell to the floor laughing. "Wario… pissed… himself!" Mario said in between laughs.

Wario heard this and turned around angrily. He charged at Mario and knocked down a waiter. The old man just got up and then got trampled all of a sudden. A team of security guards came and grabbed Wario right before he got Mario.

"Let me go you drunken bastards!" Wario shouted trying to escape.

"No way!" One security guard said. "And we ain't drunk! That is just how we are!"

Mario started laughing again.

"What are you laughing at?" The same security guard asked.

Mario answered. "You just insulted yourself!" He said still laughing.

"I should beat you for that!" The guard said angrily.

"Okay." Mario said as he got up.

Wario still tried to escape and the other guards got bored and walked off. But the one that was talking stayed. He easily held Wario back.

"I thought you were supposed to be strong but you are just a fatass loser."

"Grrrrrrr!" Wario growled.

"This is so easy a big monkey who throws his feces and is a complete and total retard could do it." The security guard said smiling and laughing at his joke.

DK heard this and roared. He jumped out of his seat and faced the security guard. He said something but it was in ape language.

"What did he say?" The guard asked confusedly.

Mario clarified. "He said that he was about to show you a monkey throwing his feces."

"Oh. I don't want to see that!" He screamed.

DK said something else.

"Huh?"

"He said you were going to taste it and not just see it." Mario responded.

"I don't get it?" He asked right before his face got hit with a fast pitch of crap. DK kept throwing his dropping at the guard until he got tired.

The guard got up. "Oh no. I've been bombarded with a load of monkey shit. Now excuse me while I go wash up." The guard ran away with his arms in the air screaming like a little girl.

Wario, who now had his chance to get Mario, forgot all about his anger and joined Mario with a whole lot of laughter. A bunch of angry waiters and security guards came up to Wario, Mario, and DK.

"You three are under arrest." One said.

"Why?" Mario asked.

The guard pointed at Mario. "You are under arrest for loud disturbances." He pointed to DK. "You are under arrest for assaulting a security guard with feces." And finally, he pointed to Wario. "You are under arrest for hit and run multiple times, and making a mess by the bathrooms… and not cleaning it up! Mainly because of the second reason."

The guards grabbed all three of them and locked them up into cells in the very back of the plane.

Twenty minutes later the same guard came up to them. He handed DK a phone. "You each get one phone call."

DK looked at it confusedly. He didn't know what to do with it. SO he threw it at the ground and broke it.

"That counts as your one phone call." He pulled out another phone and handed it to Wario. "Your turn."

Wario jerked the phone away angrily and dialed a random number. He spoke in a fake Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. "Hello this is Arnold Schwarzenegger. I have called for your refrigerator. It is broken and I want to eat it and then give you a pet rat as a replacement. You will also receive a one time use box that will cause a citywide power surge. Make good use of it."

On the other line the man said "Knock it off fatass." Wario looked up and saw the guard with a cell phone. The guard hung up and jerked the phone away. "That prank call backfired bitch. Now it is your turn short stuff."

Mario got the phone and said "I'm going to make an actual call that will help us." He dialed the number to Mushroom Kingdom Castle.

On the other end the operator picked up and said "We're sorry but the number you have called is out of reach. Please hang up and try again."

"Damn it! Damn it all to hell!" Mario screamed. "The damn number is out of reach!"

"Well that counted as you're one phone call. All of them sucked so goodbye." The guard walked off.

A few minutes later Mario was in a corner hyperventilating. "I can't be in the big house. I can't be in the big house. I can't be in the big house. I can't be in the big house. I can't be in the big house. I can't be in the big house. I can't be in the big house."

"Calm down Mario." Wario said getting angry at Mario constant hyperventilating and voice.

"I can't calm down. I'm gonna be stuck in here. And I'm surprised you aren't going crazy. You do know that they make fatasses go on a diet here."

"WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!!!!!" Wario screamed at the top of his lungs. He pulled off his hat and threw it on the ground. He proceeded to jump and stomp on it. Then he began pulling on his hair. He accidentally pulled part of it out. He screamed in pain and then began banging his head on the walls.

DK started ground pounding the floor and caused the entire plane to shake. The whole cell was going berserk with Wario banging his head on the walls, Mario hyperventilating, and DK ground pounding. The guard rushed in and yelled at them. They stopped what they were doing.

"Stop doing that immediately!"

"Okay." Mario said.

Twenty minutes later Luigi, Yoshi, Waluigi, and Diddy came to visit them.

"GET US OUT OF HERE!!! I NEED MY FOOD!!!!" Wario screamed.

Waluigi thought of something and smiled a mischievous grin. "Okay. But first you have to do something."

"WHAT?" Wario screamed.

"Get on your knees." Wario did. "Hold your nose like a pig snout." Wario did that. "And then sing 'I'm a little piggy, here's my snout. Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink.'"

"NO WAY!!!" Wario yelled.

"Then you can't get out." Waluigi said still smirking.

"Fine I'll do it." Wario got down on his knees and sang like a little piggy. Waluigi videotaped it.

"NOW LET ME OUT!!!!!" Wario shouted.

"Okay." Diddy said. He walked up and just pulled the doors open. "They forgot to lock the doors."

But just then an alarm sounded. "ALERT! ALERT!"

Guards rushed into the room and pulled out guns. "You are all gonna die!'

But then the gang was saved by the plane crashing into the shore and it killed everyone on the plane except for the crew because that was the only part of any room that was unhurt by the crash.

"Well that was luck." Luigi said in awe.

"Well shouldn't we go enjoy our vacation?" Mario asked as he ran into the paradise that is Delfino Island.

_End of chapter._

Please review and give ideas of what to happen in this story.


	2. Sing SIng Revolution: Mario Mix

**Chapter 2: Sing Sing Revolution: Mario Mix**

Mario and the gang were running around on Delfino Island when a fat, blue pianta wearing a blue tiki shirt with flowers walked up to them. They stopped running.

"Hello do you guys know who I am?" The pianta asked.

"No." Mario answered.

Wario held his mouth in awe. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YOU'RE JOHNNY SALAMI!!!!!!!!!"

"Yeah that's me. Good to know I have a really, and I mean REALLY, fat middle-aged bastard who eats too much as a fan." Johnny Salami said.

"So I take it you are a celebrity?" Luigi asked.

"Kind of. I produce records and my pop superstar just quit so I need a new slave, I mean singer." Salami explained.

"Choose me. I have a beautiful voice." Wario said jumping up and down like a crazy fangirl.

"Let me hear ya sing first."

"Okey dokey!" Wario said. Then he got in a pose and took in a deep breath. "I can sing! I can sing! I can sing real good! Let me have a REEEEEEEEEECCCCOOOOORRRRRDDDDDD deal and I'll make you HAAAAAPPPPPYYYY because I can sing real weeeeellllllll! My voice is like an angel soaring through the sky! I can eat a lot and still sing well! I can sing! I can sing! I can SING! I CAAAAANNNNN SIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!"

When Wario looked around he saw that everyone was either dead or unconscious. "Hey! I demand respect! Do you guys want me to sing another one?"

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Waluigi screamed as he jumped up and punched Wario in the face.

Everyone got up. Johnny Salami then spoke. "Anyone with talent wanna audition? Well if you do come down to the station right now. I gotta go since the line is long."

Three hours later Diddy was ready to sing. He walked up to the stage with the rest of the crew in the other room ready to hear how good he was.

"Alright, kid, so what's your name?" Salami asked.

"I'm Diddy Kong."

"Okay. Now what are you going to sing?"

"One of my original songs, it is titled I'm Diddy Hoohoo." 

"Begin."

Diddy started to sing. "Hello world. You may be wondering who I am. Well the answer is this: I'm Diddy, hoohoo. Yes that's me. I'm Diddy, hoohoo."

Diddy kept singing until Johnny Salami yelled "Stop, stop you are making my ears bleed! Next!"

Diddy flipped him off and walked off stage angrily.

DK got up on stage. "Next!" Salami screamed. "I know you haven't auditioned but I hate ties." DK growled and charged at Salami. "Security!" The guards rushed on stage and pulled DK away. "Good riddance. Monkeys these days. Oh well. Next!"

Mario walked on stage. "I'm Mario and I am gonna sing the original song that I created titled Mustache."

"Begin." Johnny said.

Mario took a deep breath and then squealed "Mustaches! What are they for? They are here to keep your face warm! I got one but you don't so I feel sorry for you! NOT! You suck because you don't gotta mustache! Hahahahahaha! I don't like you because you don't have a mustache!"

"Stop. Don't go no further. I'd rather have that fatass Wario as my new singer than you. You make my dad snoring sound great."

Mario started to cry. He ran off stage and then Yoshi walked on stage.

"What's your name?" Salami asked.

"Yoshi."

"What are you gonna sing then, Yoshi?"

"Yoshi."

"An original song no doubt. Fire away, dinosaur dude." Johnny ordered. "I just hope you aren't as bad as Mario."

"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yosh. Yoshi Yosh Yo Yo Yoshi!"

"Is that all you can say man?"

"Yoshi." Yoshi said as he nodded.

"Then get the freak off my stage." Salami said pointing to the exit.

Yoshi smiled happily for some odd reason and ran away.

"Man these people suck."

That was when Wario walked onto the stage. Salami screamed in fear. "OH MY GOD!!!! IT IS THE SINGING MURDERER!! LAST TIME YOU SANG YOU MURDERED TEN PEOPLE! COUNT THEM, TEN PEOPLE!!!!!"

"But this time I have improved my voice. Just listen!" Wario sad.

He then started to sing Loving You and had a beautiful voice. Well, until he hit the high F note. He screaming it so loud and shrill and a terrible shrill loud scream that Johnny Salami's head exploded.

"Oh no! I killed my hero! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! JOHNNY SALAMI IS DEAD! WHY OH WHY MUST I SING SO TERRIBLY! I AM A MURDERER!!!!!" Wario screamed.

A cop snuck up behind him and whacked him in the head with a night stick.

"Ow what did you do that for?" Wario asked.

"You said you were a murderer and I didn't wanna die. So tell me, who did you murder?" The cop asked.

"I killed eleven people." Wario admitted sadly.

"Oh well that's not too bad." The cop said.

Then Wario said "One of them was Johnny Salami."

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Then the cop whacked Wario on the head again. "You're under arrest for murder!" The cop handcuffed Wario and took him to the station.

When they arrived they shoved Wario in a dark room with a table and two chairs on opposite ends. After a few hours two cops came in.

"Hello Wario. Why did you do it?" A blue pianta cop said gently.

"Yeah why?" Another cop who was a red pianta said as he punched Wario in the face.

"Do'h!" Wario screamed as he got punched in the face.

Then Homer Simpson appeared. "Hey that's my line!"

"Shut up Homer!" The red pianta said.

"Hey you shut up! You're just jealous because my T.V. show is better than yours!" Homer screamed.

The red pianta hit Homer in the face with a nightstick. "Shut up! I don't have a T.V. show!"

"Oh OK then." Homer disappeared.

The red pianta hit Wario in the face again. "Ouch!" Wario wailed. "Why do you keep hitting me?"

"Why did you do it?" The red pianta said as he hit Wario again. "Tell me now!"

"It was an accident. I just started singing and his head blew up!" Wario screamed.

The red pianta poked him in the eyes and beat him with his nightstick for a few seconds. "Tell the truth! No one's singing is that bad!"

"Don't feel bad." The blue pianta said. "I won't be mean to you just because you killed someone with your singing like that mean old cop over there."

"Hey!" Wario said. "You just insulted my singing!"

"Oh. I'm sorry." The blue pianta good cop said.

"Well I'm not." The red pianta bad cop said. Then he hit Wario in the face.

A few minutes later he was still being questioned. Then the rest of the crew got thrown in that room.

"Why are you guys in here?" Wario asked.

The bad cop hit him and said "I didn't say you could talk."

Mario got up and said "We were thrown in here because we were accomplices of the "Salami Killer" but I've never heard of him."

"That's me!" Wario yelled.

"Oh. Man I hate you Wario! We got thrown in here because you can't sing!" Luigi said as he whacked him in the face.

"Ouch! Why is everyone hitting me today?" Wario asked.

The red pianta hit him again. "Because we can, bitch!"

"We gotta get outta here!" Waluigi screamed.

"Yoshi!" Yoshi agreed.

"Yeah! I mean these cops are mean!" Diddy complained.

"No we ain't! Shut up!" The bad cop said as he kicked Diddy in the nuts.

Diddy fell to the ground in pain. DK pulled his nephew up and went to attack the bad cop. He completely pulverized him and then finished him by breaking his neck. Then all of a sudden the good cop got angry and stared at DK. He ripped his face off to reveal…

_To be continued._


	3. Escaping the Police

**Chapter 3: Escaping the Police**

_Diddy fell to the ground in pain. DK pulled his nephew up and went to attack the bad cop. He completely pulverized him and then finished him by breaking his neck. Then all of a sudden the good cop got angry and stared at DK. He ripped his face off to reveal…_

Superman!

"Oh my God it's Superman!" Wario screamed.

"Yes. Superman is here!" He said. "Hello. My name is Superman. You killed my friend. Prepare to die. Hello. My name is Superman. You killed my friend. Prepare to die. Hello. My name is Superman. You killed my friend. Prepare to die."

"Stop saying that!" DK said angrily.

"Hello. My name is Superman. You killed my friend. Prepare to die. Hello. My name is Superman. You killed my friend. Prepare to die. Hello. My name is Superman. You killed my friend. Prepare to die." Superman said as he walked closer to DK.

"Help me! Somebody help me! Superman is gonna kill me!" Wario screamed.

"I'll save you!" An unknown voice screamed. Everyone looked over at where the voice came from. And standing there, they saw…

"Bartman!" Waluigi screamed.

"Yes! Bartman is here to save you from the evil Superman!" Bartman screamed heroically as his cape swung in the wind.

"Hey wait a minute. How is your cape swinging when there is no wind I here?" Mario asked.

Bartman answered "I don't know it just looks cool."

"I won't lose to a kid who dresses like Batman except in purple and calls himself Bartman! Eat laser vision!" Superman screamed as he fired the burning laser.

"Okay I guess I'll eat it." Bartman held open his mouth and literally ate the laser vision.

Superman stopped. "Woah! That is weird!"

"Now I will destroy you with the ultimate power of Bartman!" Bartman charged Superman and started punching and kicking him as hard as he could.

"That doesn't affect me. I'm too strong!" Superman bragged.

"Oh yeah. Well can you survive this?" Bartman kicked Superman in the nuts as hard as he could. Superman fell to the ground in pain.

"Ow that really hurt!" Superman said as he got up.

"Don't get up." Bartman kicked him again. Then again and again.

"Stop doing that you asshole!" Superman said.

"Okay. I won't kick you in the nuts again." Then Bartman punched him in the nuts.

"Ouchies! Stop doing that!" Superman whined.

"Fine. I won't punch or kick you in the nuts. But Bartarangs aren't punching or kicking." Then he threw ten Bartarangs at Superman. They all hit him in the nuts.

"You have killed me Bartman! Now I die!" Then Superman fell out dead.

"That is good. Well bye guys. Gotta go." Then all of a sudden smoke covered the room and when it went out Bartman was gone.

"He is really cool." Luigi said.

Then cops swarmed inside the room.

"You are all gonna die! You killed two really experienced cops! And one of them was Superman!" One cop said.

"But listen! Bartman killed Superman!" Wario explained.

"Bartman isn't real! He is just on that stupid overrated Simpsons cartoon!" The same cop said.

"But sir, he is real!" Waluigi agreed. "And DK killed the other cop so arrest just him!"

"Okay we will. You're gonna die you stupid monkey! And so are the others because they are accomplices of you!" The same cop said.

DK roared loudly and then charged at the cops. He attacked them all rapidly. Once he finished his rampage they were all dead.

"My bad." DK blushed.

"Let's go before more come." Diddy said as he ran out the door. The others followed.

Once they got to the front entrance there was an entire army of police officers. The one in front had an AK-47. He was tall, white, and had a scar that went through his left eye.

"I'm Commander Johnson. Freeze, all of you! You are all going to die! Fire men!" The one in front ordered.

The gang hid in cover. Then Mario handed headphones to everyone except Wario.

"What are these for?" Luigi asked.

"And why didn't I get headphones?" Wario asked.

"Well," Mario started "Everyone put these on and Wario, you sing Loving You. And be extra shrill and loud on the high F note."

"Okie dokie!" Wario said as he started to sing.

"Oh no men! He is terrible! I haven't heard anyone this bad since Barbara Streisand. Cover your ears!" Johnson screamed.

Even though they covered their ears, they couldn't hold back the terrible sound of Wario's high F. Their heads exploded and their bodies fell to the ground. Everyone took off their headphones.

"Was I good?" Wario asked.

"No." Luigi said.

"Grrrrrrr!" Wario growled.

He dive tackled Luigi and started beating the crap out of him.

"Get off my brother, bitch!" Mario screamed as he pulled Wario off Luigi and kicked him in the nuts.

"Thanks bro." Luigi said as he held out his hand for Mario to help him up.

Mario grabbed is hand and slung him backwards into the wall.

"Ouch brother! What was that for?" Luigi asked as he got up.

"I don't know it is just really fun to do." Mario said.

"So now that we have killed so many cops I think we should run." Waluigi suggested.

"Yoshi." Yoshi nodded. Then they all took off running.


End file.
